How to Characterize Love in Your Writing

 

by Jacqui Murray

How do we characterize love in your writing?

Because, if you’re a writer, you must. It doesn’t have to be sex but it has to take readers that direction, right to the edge of the cliff. Yes, you can leave the lurid details out, but let readers peek over the edge.

How do you do that? Start with a few decisions:

  • Is it platonic?
  • Is it unrequited?
  • Is there conflict?
  • Is it lust disguised as love?
  • Is it serial love? Or one-of-a-kind?
  • Is it kinky or traditional?
  • Does love bring joy or sadness–or misery?
  • Is the manifestation of love baby-ish or mature–goo-goo eyes and saccharin words or Paris vacations?
  • Is love verbal or silent?
  • Is this love constructive or destructive? Flowery or brutal?
  • what part does the spiritual play in the emotion–or is it uninvolved?
  • Is it a subplot or a cameo?
  • Is it an inciting incident or a throw-away?
  • Is it violent or passive?
  • How did it start? Online or physical world?
  • Are children involved?
  • What are the personal flaws that attracted each to the other?

You may not know any of these answers, but by the end of the book, these questions will drive the actions of the characters.

Another important questions is: What’s your genre? If you’re writing romance, you’ll have to delve into this subject much more than if you write mystery/thrillers. Romance readers buy books as much for the love lost lust as the plot. But not thriller readers. There, if the love interest is secondary to the plot, they’ll be fine. If it’s only alluded to, you will likely still satisfy them. What about literary fiction? Emotion is good. Introspective questioning is better. Romance is secondary.

Love is about emotion. That’s where you write it. How do the character’s feel? Are they distracted at the scent his love interest wears, even when worn by another woman? Or does he barely notice? The reaction of your characters must be in-character. Are they Sheldon (from Big Bang Theory) or Lolita?

When you’ve thought through the emotion, write the backstory. How did your characters meet and fall in love? See if you can answer most of the questions listed above. You may never use this detail in your novel, but it will fill out your understanding of your characters and their motivations.

Still unsure? Read books in your genre. See how your favorite authors wrote about love (because there’s rarely a novel that doesn’t at least touch on it). Take note of what seems particularly effective for you. Borrow the technique, not the words. Ask friends about love. Most people are eager to talk about new hook-ups. Pick their brains.

One final point: A bit of humor is fine. Perfect People and their Riveting Romances are boring–and unrealistic. Who among us hasn’t been stupid in love? Understanding that it is part of the human condition, that we shouldn’t take ourselves as seriously as Romeo and Juliet did, got us through it. Granted, if the plot requires a psychological meltdown because of the love interest, forget the humor. It won’t work.

 

 

 

Guest post contributed by Jacqui Murray. Jacqui is the author of the popular Building a Midshipman and is the author/editor of dozens of books on integrating tech into education, an Amazon Vine Voice book reviewer, a columnist for Examiner.com and TeachHUB, and Editorial Review Board member for Journal for Computing Teachers. You can find her book on her publisher’s website, Structured Learning.  

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12 thoughts on “How to Characterize Love in Your Writing”

  1. This is incredibly helpful, I am writing a literary fiction but with some fluttering elements of romance — but the thing that is shaking me is the question of how much is too much? You summed up these points efficiently!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I explored some of this in last summer’s writing exercise that became my free webnovel, “Defiant.” As my wife quipped, “whenever there’s a hint of romance, you write another battle!” Yes, I’d avoidance issues.

    That’s one of the reasons my current in-process work, ‘Cursed Hearts,’ a horror/romance, has been/still is such a trial to me. I see what my characters feel, but labor to bring that to the reader in my harsh, bare-bones writing style.

    I’ll re-read your short post, sleep, and try for more, tomorrow. Thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

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