by Ryan Lanz
Writers use dialogue tags constantly. In fact, we use them so often that readers all but gloss over them. They should be invisible. However, there are ways to misuse them and make them stand out.
In an effort to avoid that, let’s take a closer look at dialogue tags. Toward the end of “Tag travesties” is something I sorely wish someone had told me before I started writing.
Why do we use dialogue tags?
The simple answer is that we use them to indicate who’s speaking. In visual media, such as movies or television, the viewer can easily tell who’s talking by lip movement and camera angles. When reading a book, obviously that’s not an option.
There are certainly ways to misuse dialogue tags. When I was a new writer, I felt compelled to overwrite. I ‘m sure every new writer goes through a version of this. I observed how successful writers used simple tags like “said/asked” and thought to myself, that’s boring. I’m going to be an awesome writer by making them more interesting. You don’t have to admit it aloud, writers, but we all know that most of us have. Let’s look at an example of this:
- “We can’t cross this river,” Alanna exclaimed repugnantly.
- John crossed the room and shouted disgustedly, “I’ll never take you with me.”
- “This has been the worst day ever,” Susie cried angrily.
For those of you who still aren’t convinced, let’s up the dosage with a paragraph:
Hank crossed the room and sat down. “We should have never waited this long for a table,” he seethed, leaning over to glare at her.
“If you wanted a better spot, you should have called ahead for a reservation,” Trudy returned pointedly.
“Well, perhaps if you didn’t take so long to get ready, I could have,” he countered dryly.
Can you imagine reading an entire book like that? *shiver*
So why do new writers feel the urge to be that . . . creative with their dialogue tags? Back in the beginning, I thought the typical tags of “said/asked” were too boring and dull. It didn’t take me long to realize that dull (in this context) is the point.
Imagine your words as a window pane of glass, and the story is behind it. Your words are merely the lens that your story is seen through. The thicker the words, the cloudier the glass gets. If you use huge words, purple prose, or crazy dialogue tags, then all you’re doing is fogging up the glass through which your reader is trying to view your story. The goal is to draw as little attention to your actual words as possible; therefore, you keep the glass as clear as possible, so that the reader focuses on the story. Using tags like “said/asked” are so clear, they’re virtually invisible.
Now, does that mean that you can’t use anything else? Of course not. Let’s look further.
Alternate dialogue tags
Some authors say to never use anything other than “said/asked,” while others say to heck with the rules and use whatever you want. Some genres (such as romance) are more forgiving about using alternate dialogue tags. I take a more pragmatic approach to it. I sometimes use lines like:
“I’m glad we got out of there,” she breathed.
The very important question is how often. I compare adverbs and alternate dialogue tags to a strong spice. Some is nice, but too much will spoil the batch. Imagine a cake mix with a liter of vanilla flavoring, rather than the normal tablespoon. The more often you use anything other than “said/asked,” the stronger the flavor. If it’s too powerful, it’ll tug the reader away from the story and spotlights those words. In a full length book of around 85,000 words, I personally use alternate dialogue tags only around a few dozen times total.
By saving them, the pleasant side effect is that when I do use them, they pack more of an emotional punch.
I have a love affair with action beats. Used effectively, they can be another great way to announce who’s talking, yet at the same time add some movement or blocking to a scene. For example:
Looking down, Katie ran a finger around the edge of the mug. “We need to talk.”
That added some nice flavor to the scene, and you know who spoke. The only caveat is to be careful of not using too many action beats, as it does slow down the pacing a tiny bit. If you’re writing a bantering sequence, for example, you wouldn’t want to use a lot of action beats so as to keep the pacing quick.
Dos and don’ts
Sometimes, action beats and dialogue tags have misused punctuation. I’ll give some examples.
- “Please don’t touch that.” She said, blocking the display. (Incorrect)
- “Let’s head to the beach,” he said as he grabbed a towel. (Correct)
- Sam motioned for everyone to come closer, “Take a look at this.” (Incorrect)
- Debbie handed over the magnifying glass. “Do you see the mossy film on the top?” (Correct)
Like many things in a story/novel, it’s all about balance. Try alternating actions beats, dialogue tags, and even no tags at all when it’s clear who’s speaking. By changing it up, it’ll make it so that no one method is obvious.
Ryan Lanz is an avid blogger and author of The Idea Factory: 1,000 Story Ideas and Writing Prompts to Find Your Next Bestseller. You can also find him on Twitter, Facebook, and Tumblr.
“So why do new writers feel the urge to be that . . . creative with their dialogue tags?”
They do it because idjits on the internet go around posting “SAID is Dead!” memes and so-called substitutes for said (many of which are nothing of the sort). They do it because (even before the internet — I know because I was there! 🙂 ) well-meaning but unhelpful teachers tell them to use anything but said as a way of showing that they’re expanding their vocabularies (which isn’t a bad thing, but writing for publication isn’t the place to ‘show that you’re expanding your vocabulary’).
“I compare adverbs and alternate dialogue tags to a strong spice. Some is nice, but too much will spoil the batch.”
I usually compare ’em to hot peppers, but I like your analogy better. (Even that wonderful Danncy brand vanilla can ruin the food if too much is used — I know because I was there! 🙂 )
“Try alternating actions beats, dialogue tags, and even no tags at all when it’s clear who’s speaking. By changing it up, it’ll make it so that no one method is obvious.”
Oh, yeah. I even recommend alternating word order: sometimes [X character] said, and sometimes said [X character]. Keeps the rhythm of the sentences from becoming too da-dum, da-dum, da-dum. And not every question requires asked in the tag (if it has one), because it already that little ? at the end to indicate that it’s, y’know, a question. Sentences themselves can be broken up with the tag (or action beat) — the tag doesn’t have to go at the end every time! (*tirade by freelance copyeditor narrowly averted… this time*)
Good article, and thank you for doing your part to help us (readers and writers alike) “have nice things.”
LikeLiked by 3 people
I agree with mostly everything. As for questions, though, I personally don’t like to see “said” after a question, unless it’s something like a rhetorical question. Just a personal preference.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I agree. Why can’t “said” and “asked” be used as regularly and commonplace?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Totally agree, and yes, I did the same at first!
Great post. This is admittedly one of those areas I need to work on myself.
Excellent inputs for writers. Thanks for the informative post.
I’m glad you posted this. Great, quick roundup of the most common mistakes that new writers make. Let’s get this out there!
“Dull is the point.” Well said, and yes, I wish I’d known that sooner 🙂
I do like to mix up my tags. I will keep in mind to restrain myself, though I don’t like too much repetition.
Great post, and I agree with almost everything. However, since one cannot “breathe” a sentence, I often put the action first. She let out a breath. “I’m glad we got out of there.” If I’d rather the action come after the dialogue, I’d probably write: “I’m glad we got out of there,” she said, exhaling. No right or wrong; just personal preference.
Thanks for sharing all these helpful tips, Thomas. Did the same!
Excuse me–I meant to thank you, Ryan. I liked Thomas’ response. 🙂
No worries. 🙂
Reblogged this on Kim's Musings.
Reblogged this on Author S. L. Danielson and commented:
These are a headache for editors in a big way, great post!